Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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