honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
