if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
