You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
