3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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