when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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