seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
