my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
