What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
