dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
