Define "chronic" masturbator.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
