So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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