New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
