I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
