The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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