But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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