Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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