No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
