So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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