Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
