Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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