Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
50% drunk capacity currently
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
