didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
