jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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