He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
