It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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