what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Need sex. Gaining weight.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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