BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
