i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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