Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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