Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
