you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
