dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
