2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Randomize
