sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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