i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
