actually, I'm a sock model
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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