I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
