I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
