I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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