just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
