Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
