I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Even my vagina gasped.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
