Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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