Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
