My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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