she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
vagina is talking i cant
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
