Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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