Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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