im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
