too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
