Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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