he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
