I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
