Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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