You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
