In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize