Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
