I skipped work to stalk him.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
