The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
