Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize