check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
