Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
