Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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